Gentle Giant

Merry Christmas Daddy! Christmas: 2008

I’m hoping that this will be the first of many installments of stories that chronicle the lives of the rambunctious, happy and affectionate Bedgood Family that I grew up in. I’m not sure many people would consider this a “Christmas gift” as such, but I know you well enough to know what’s important to you, and “stuff” isn’t. Words are. Thoughts are. Your children and family are, and hearing our perceptions of our lives as children make you smile. Do you know that is one of the things I love about you? You have an amazing capacity for love and giving attention to the details of our lives, each of us, individually without exception.
Now, let me move on to the first story. I think this may be my first memory, but I may recant that later as I write and other memories come to mind.
One morning as I got up from my warm, messy bed, (which was really more of a cocoon to hear Mama talk.) and came into the activity of our morning, I felt uneasy. I could tell by looking at your faces that you were upset and crying. Soon, you said you had something important to say to us and you asked us to sit quietly and listen. There is a picture forever embedded in my mind. It is a picture of Mama sitting on the seat of the chair with you sitting on the arm, your arm around her shoulders. I remember the moment. I remember where we were sitting in the living room on Rich Road. I remember the floor feeling cold under me, and I remember how the girls sat. Suzie, Lynnie, Laurie, in that order. I remember the words that were spoken as you told us gently that Grandpa Snuffer had gone to Heaven. I remember watching you cry as you spoke and feeling more afraid and upset by your tears then the news about Grandpa. In my little girl mind I was certain that if Grandpa went to Heaven, he would be back very soon and Mama and Daddy would quit crying. It wasn’t until some time past that I realized that Heaven was a place that people didn’t come back from.
When I was the age of that little girl, the idea of loss wasn’t a fear and never even came to mind. Unpleasant events were often kept away from a child who is well loved, sheltered and protected by her parents. As I reflect back on that day, I know I was definitely one of those children. I thank God everyday as I’m sure it is part of what gives me the sense of well being and balance I have today in my adult life.
Daddy, you are the first picture I had of my heavenly Father, and I thank Him for the sweet example he created in you. I love the way you loved my Mama that day. I love the way you placed your protective arm around her. I love looking back and remembering the gentle side of my Daddy that I learned about on that day.
I love that man. He cries, comforts, protects and loves in such an amazing way. Little did you know that the picture you painted for me that day gave me the very picture I needed, to know that my God was an approachable and gentle giant, just like my Daddy.